Jerry, you need to find god
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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