We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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