If that was your dad, he is hot
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
