I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
