clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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