if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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