I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
