im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
