Dual....:-)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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