Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
