Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
