he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
