Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
