Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
