Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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