2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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