I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize