Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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