I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
