I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
