The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
