Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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