it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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