you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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