on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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