Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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