I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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