i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
