id be glad to
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
