Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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