Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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