Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Green mimosas i think yes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
