don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
