I wanna passion pit in your ass
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
