theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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