my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
