We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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