glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
