Midget sex pt 2 tonight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
