i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
