Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
