I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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