I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
