idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
