oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
