if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
