oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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