and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
