After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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