you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
