Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

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(647): View more from Ontario

I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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(636): View more from Missouri

maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter

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(386): View more from Florida

I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(

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(519): View more from Ontario

You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.

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(210): View more from Texas

I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.

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