Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
