I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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