why didn't you poke me back
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
