This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
