i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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