Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
