You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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