why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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