Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
