And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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