Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
