She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
