Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
