eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
