dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
